


Call Your Girlfriend (It's Time You Had The Talk)

by roe87



Series: Steve/Bucky modern au's [30]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awesome Natasha Romanov, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Banter, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Don't Like Don't Read, Emotional Infidelity, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, F/M, Fist Fights, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gen, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Humor, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha kicks Peggy's ass, New York City, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Natasha Romanov, Past Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Peggy Carter is a bitch, Peggy Carter is abusive, Protective Natasha Romanov, Sassy Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve breaks up with someone else for Bucky, steve loves bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29563476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87
Summary: Natasha is out shopping for a dress and she drags her gay best friend, Bucky, along with her.Then they get a surprise visit from an angry woman claiming Bucky has slept with her husband.Things all sort of unravel from there.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Steve/Bucky modern au's [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1350943
Comments: 39
Kudos: 195





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stuckys_baby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stuckys_baby/gifts), [Lost_Days](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_Days/gifts).



> Inspired by the song of the same name, by Robyn. [video here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6ImxY6hnfA).
> 
> I've tagged this to be considerate, and I'm writing an extra note here to say if you're a fan of steggy or of Peggy then you likely won't enjoy this fic. Read on at your own choice!
> 
> If you're a fan of stucky, or clintasha, then it's a happy ending.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Special thanks to my two enablers on this fic! 
> 
> ~~

Natasha needed a new dress for a work party, and she also needed an honest opinion before she chose one.

That's why she'd invited Bucky out shopping with her Saturday afternoon, because an honest opinion called for a gay man, and Bucky was the gayest. He was also late, which he often said was down to him being so gay.

Natasha put Bucky's tardiness down to him being an asshole who kept his friend waiting, but he was one of her oldest friends so she let it slide. This was why she always arranged to meet Bucky somewhere she could sit down and have a coffee while she waited.

She was currently inside a nice little café in The Village, sipping a latte in a fine china cup and checking her phone. Clint had just sent her a selfie, grinning at the camera like the huge dork he was. Natasha smiled to herself, adding some heart stickers to Clint's photo and sending it back to him.

She'd take a selfie of herself later, when she had some dresses to try on.

"What's that, a dick pic?" Bucky's voice said over her shoulder, making Natasha start with alarm. "Wow, look at that girth!" he teased.

"It's not a dick pic, you asshole," she said, not caring if anyone on the other tables overheard them. If Bucky thought she could be embarrassed this easily, he had another thing coming. "Do you need a coffee or can we go?" she asked.

"No, wait, I need coffee!" Bucky declared, hands flapping as he dashed over to the counter to order.

Natasha shook her head minutely. She picked up her latte to sip, eyes on Bucky as he leaned on the counter to flirt with the barista. She shook her head again. Bucky was a big flirt, and always very _on_.

Natasha put up with a lot because at the end of the day, he was fun to hang out with and was a friend to her when it mattered. When she'd been dumped by Bruce, it was Bucky who'd stayed on her couch with her and brought tubs of ice cream while they marathoned Sex and The City until Natasha felt more like herself again.

And when she needed a plus one for anything, Bucky was always available for her. Natasha didn't have a lot of American friends, so the ones she actually liked she kept close.

Eventually, Bucky got his coffee and came back to the table, a smug grin on his face.

"Finally," Natasha said as he sat down. She let him take a sip of coffee first, then started listing off the places she wanted to go dress shopping.

Naturally, Bucky got his phone out halfway through her sentence and opened Grindr.

"Bucky," Natasha sighed, "can you listen to me for one second?"

"I'm listening," he said, eyes glued to his phone. "Just seeing if Mr. Hot Barista dude is on here. As you were saying?" He gestured for her to go on.

"I said, I want a cocktail dress that looks tasteful for work but also makes me look super hot."

"You are super hot," Bucky said, eyes still on his phone. "So you want to look slutty yet elegant?"

"Yes," she agreed, pleased because as usual Bucky understood her. "Exactly. I'm going to flirt with the vice chairman. I'm sick of being passed over for promotion and I think I should put myself forward."

"Tits first," Bucky joked, fiddling with his phone then setting it on the table. "Check this out." He slid the phone across the table.

Natasha picked it up, frowning as she looked at the screen. It was a dick pic, because of course Bucky was showing her a dick pic in a café, nothing unusual there. The picture showed a pink flushed dick, so it was a white man, presumably, and the shaft was fairly sizable.

Rather a good photo, too. Natasha often critiqued the photography skills of any dick pics she saw. After all, a dick was a dick, who cared about that especially if it was an uninspiring photo? But if it was a nice photo, well, to Natasha that said the owner of the dick had put thought and effort into taking the dick pic, and that in itself was sexy.

"Not bad," she said, meaning the photo, not necessarily the dick. (Although that wasn't bad either. Like, she wouldn't have said no.)

"Right?" Bucky grinned happily, taking his phone back. "Wait, wait. I got another." He scrolled to another picture then handed the phone back to Natasha.

She looked at it, this time seeing more body: a full groin shot, with some abdominal muscles in view too. Definitely a white guy, not tanned at all.

"Quite the six pack," she commented, only mildly interested. Six packs often came attached to jerks, in her experience and also from watching Bucky's dating experience.

She handed Bucky's phone back to him. "Is this somebody you're actually talking to, or are you just perving on his photos from an app?"

"Oh, no, we've hooked up," Bucky replied proudly. "He's, um, he's great, actually. The TP, total package. He would be kinda perfect, I guess."

Natasha raised her eyebrows. "I sense a but in there."

"Hm, well..." Bucky made a face. "Kinda early to tell, but if he's serious then he has to lose the wife first."

"For Chrissake's, Bucky," Natasha said. "Can't you sleep with single men?"

"Hey, I didn't make the gay rules," he retorted casually. "And you're one to talk, Nat. How's Clint these days?"

Natasha schooled her features. "That's different and you know it. He was already separated when we––"

"Boned," Bucky cut in.

"Got together," Natasha corrected, speaking in Russian so Bucky knew she meant business.

"Got together," Bucky replied in perfect Russian, " _and boned_. The best boning of your life, as I recall you saying."

He yelped when Natasha kicked his shin under the table, then chuckled like the devious little shit he was.

"Oh, lighten up," he said, switching back to English. Bucky was a language interpreter who spoke not only Russian but multiple languages. "Did he stop boning you or something?" he teased.

"Bozhe moi," Natasha muttered. "No, asshole, we're still dating. He's just working a lot and has to see his kids on the weekends."

"Mm, mm, mmmmm." Bucky made an unimpressed face at her. "Hope you have a good vibrator, girl. All those lonely weekends."

She went to kick him under the table again but he dodged her, laughing about it until his coffee spilled a bit on the table.

"Dammit, Natasha," he said, grabbing some napkins to mop up the spillage. "Look at what you did. Can't take you anywhere."

"If you'd hurry up and finish," she said, "we could go get my dress."

"Alright, alright." Bucky took a big sip of his coffee. "So impatient. Are you planning to bone the guy you're aiming to flirt with at this party?"

Natasha made a face, thinking about it. "Hm," she said. "He's handsome and he's rich, sure, but I am dating Clint."

"Who's still technically married," Bucky pointed out. "Girl, I keep telling you, put yourself out there. If Clint wants you, then he'll have to get a divorce to show he's serious, won't he?"

Natasha hummed.

Bucky was right, of course, but she didn't want to talk about it right now. It just really fucking sucked when the only guys she liked were either already married or turned out to be jerks.

Or, both.

"Are you on Tinder?" Bucky asked her.

"No, I deleted it."

"Well, download it again," he said. "Start collecting dick pics, have a bit of fun."

"Why would I want dick pics," Natasha said dryly. "After a while the pictures are boring."

"That's what you get for dating straight men," Bucky said, chortling away like he found this very amusing.

Then his eyes locked onto something over Natasha's shoulder, where the café window was, and his whole expression changed.

"What?" Natasha asked. "You look like you just..." She trailed off as Bucky dived off his chair onto the floor, disappearing under their table. "What're you doing?" she said, and turned around to see what he'd been looking at.

Through the window all she saw were pedestrians. One in particular was a woman Natasha recognised.

"Oh, is that... what's her name?" she asked, looking down at the floor where Bucky was hiding.

"Peggy Carter!" Bucky hissed at her. "Has she gone?"

"Um..." Natasha turned around, checking the window. Peggy was there, and now she'd noticed Natasha looking and had stopped walking. "No?" Natasha said, automatically smiling at Peggy. They'd met a few times at a work thing, and they had a couple of mutual friends.

"No, she's still there," Natasha said, watching as Peggy made her way over to the door. "I think she's coming in."

"Fuck," Bucky said, crawling away on his hands and knees across the floor, darting behind another table.

Natasha watched in confusion, then looked up at Peggy as she approached her table.

"Hello," Peggy said in her prim English accent. "Natasha, isn't it? Tony's friend?"

"Yes," Natasha said, still bewildered over Bucky's abrupt departure. "That's right. How are you?"

Peggy was a hard read, but she seemed distracted and maybe even a little annoyed. She glanced down at the table, noting the coffee mugs.

"I hope I'm not interrupting?" she said, a polite yet clearly fake smile directed to Natasha.

"Oh, no," Natasha said easily. "Not at all. I'm just finishing up."

Peggy nodded, looking at Natasha like she was trying to read her too. Then, surprisingly, Peggy sat down in Bucky's vacated chair.

"Can I ask you something?" she said quietly, leaning in like she didn't want to be overheard.

Natasha leaned in also. "Yes, sure."

"You're friends with Bucky, aren't you? Bucky Barnes?"

"Yeah," Natasha said automatically, as she saw over Peggy's shoulder the man himself hurrying off through the tables on his hands and knees. "I mean, sometimes," she added, looking back to Peggy and faking a smile. "Why?"

"Well, since he doesn't answer his phone," Peggy said sweetly, "I wondered if you'd pass on a message from me?"

"Yeah, sure," Natasha said, still bewildered.

"You tell him from me," Peggy said, as her expression turned dark, "that he's messing with the wrong woman, and he's going to regret his actions."

Natasha blinked, and was sure her surprise showed on her face. "What actions?" she asked.

"I'll let him tell you that," Peggy said sniffily. She rose to her feet and turned on her heel, sweeping out of the café.

Natasha was left feeling even more confused, so she got out her phone and called Bucky.

He accepted the call and hissed, "Has she gone?"

"Yes, she's gone," Natasha replied. "Are you going to tell me what all that was about?"

"Meet me outside," Bucky said, then hung up.

Natasha exhaled lightly. Well, at least now they could leave the café. She still had a dress to find, drama or not.

She put on her jacket and headed outside, spotting Bucky hiding around the corner of the building.

"Oh, my God," Natasha sighed as she approached him, "what's all this about?"

"Let's walk this way," he instructed, looping his arm through Natasha's. "Maybe if we can pass as a straight couple she won't see me."

Natasha made a face at that. "If you want to pass as a straight couple, you'll have to walk like a straight man."

"Ugh, dammit," Bucky muttered, looking down at their feet as they walked along arm in arm. "How do straight men walk?"

"Like they're not on a runway." Natasha laughed. "Stop strutting."

"I can't help it," he wailed. "My strut won't be contained."

They made their way through The Village and Natasha found the first boutique she wanted to visit. Inside the store Natasha browsed a rack of dresses, while Bucky hid behind said rack and kept an eye on the window.

"So are you going to explain why this uptight woman just gave me a mildly threatening message to pass onto you?" Natasha asked.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Fuck, she's literally insane. You think she wants to invite me to a duel?"

"Why? What did you do?" Natasha asked.

"Well..." Bucky picked out a dress and held it against himself. "Remember those dick pics I showed you?"

Natasha put two and two together. "The married man?" she asked.

Bucky nodded, swinging the dress side to side. "Maybe not married for too much longer, since he's clearly discovered how fun it is being gay."

"Wait..." Natasha had a realisation, flashing back to the last Stark party where she'd met Peggy and her husband, Steve. Steve, Tony's colleague. "Jesus Christ, Bucky," she said, trying to keep her voice down. "You showed me pictures of Steve's dick? Ew!"

Bucky laughed quietly. "I wasn't going to tell you who he was," he said, putting his dress back. "I was going to let him be an anonymous dick. I haven't got any other photos of him."

Natasha shook her head. "You're a moron," she told him, as she rifled through the dress rack. "What happened, anyway? Did he tell his wife?"

Bucky shrugged. "Beats me. He kept saying he was going to talk to her, maybe suggest they see other people for a while, like an open relationship thing."

"Is that what you want?" Natasha looked at him.

He shrugged again, but Natasha could read his face. He didn't look happy.

"It's his life," Bucky said. "I mean, what can you do? He's already on Grindr, Nat. I met him and after we'd hooked up, he mentions he's married." Bucky shrugged. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Walk away," Natasha replied, totally serious. "He sounds a mess, and you don't need that."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Bucky muttered, standing there looking depressed. "He's so nice, though. And his dick is amazing. Obviously, you've seen it, you know."

Natasha picked out a couple dresses and thrust them at Bucky to hold. "There's gonna be more nice guys with amazing dicks out there, alright?" she told him. "You better write this one off, before his wife comes after _your_ dick."

Bucky's eyes went wide. "Yeah, good point. That bitch is crazy. She already came to stalk me at my work yesterday. I managed to slip past her."

"How do you even know who she is?" Natasha asked.

"Because," Bucky said tersely, "she announced herself at the front desk very loudly in that bullshit accent, I am the wife of Steve Rogers! Blah, blah, and then she said she was looking for me." He shrugged. "I put two and two together."

"You sure you haven't been sleeping with any other married men?" Natasha teased, taking a dress out to look at it.

"Ha, ha." Bucky took the dress from Natasha and replaced it on the rail. "It ain't my fault if married men put themselves out there on Grindr. I'm an innocent victim in all this." He picked out another dress and offered it to her.

Natasha took it, pondering the choice. Plunging neckline. Bucky always said she should show more boob. "Yes, you're totally innocent, I'm sure," she said. She put the dress back. "This is a work function, remember? I can't have my tits out."

"Nat, do you want a promotion or not?" Bucky huffed, following after her as she went to search another rail. "And I am innocent. Well..." He chuckled to himself, clearly thinking about sex as his face got a devious expression on it.

Natasha glanced at him, shook her head, then focused back on her dress search.

"I do really like him," Bucky sighed wistfully.

"And what'll you do if he never leaves his wife?" Natasha asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Bucky said blithely. "Have a good cry and put on a few pounds in ice cream, probably."

The comment made Natasha think of her break up with Bruce. Not that there had been much to break up, according to him.

Jerk.

"Why are men assholes?" she muttered.

"Too much testosterone, babe," Bucky said, flashing her a smile. "They're not wired to sit at home all the time and be monogamous. They got bored with that, they want to go hunt and gather."

"I love how you say _they_ like you're not a man yourself," Natasha pointed out.

"I'm _clearly_ a wife." Bucky shook the dresses in his arms as if to make his point. "Why else would I be here on a Saturday instead of in bed with someone's dick in my mouth?"

"Bucky, keep it down," Natasha said, looking over at the store's clerk who was giving them the stink eye. "C'mon. Let's go try these on."

She led the way to the changing area, Bucky trailing behind her carrying the dresses.

"Oh, thank God!" he exclaimed upon finding a padded seat outside the cubicles and throwing himself onto it. "I'll be right here. Show me the dresses when you're ready." He handed the clothes to her, and Natasha went into a cubicle, drawing the curtain across.

She got undressed quickly and tried the first dress on: a little black number. Tasteful, elegant. A bit boring? But it was for work.

She pulled back the curtain, seeing Bucky lounging on the seat just ahead of her. She didn't even make it out of the cubicle one step before he pulled a face at her and waved his hand.

"Next!" he demanded.

Natasha rolled her eyes, and went back in the cubicle.

If Bucky had his way, she'd be dressed like Lady Gaga and Liberace rolled into one. Nothing was ever too extravagant, as far as he was concerned.

Natasha tried the next dress. This one was a deep wine red with a modest neckline, something she could also wear to a wedding.

She pulled back the curtain and stepped outside, turning to the big mirror on the wall to have a look at herself.

"Jesus wept, Natasha, that dress is so boring it just put me into a coma," Bucky complained, while also texting on his phone. "Try on the one I picked, huh?"

"Alright," she sighed, and went back into the cubicle again.

He was right, she knew that. She took off the dress, and tried on the one Bucky had picked. This one had a higher neckline at the front and a deep plunge at the back. Natasha never wore dresses like this. What was she going to do with her boobs? What if they fell out during the party?

She fiddled with the dress, hoping her boobs would stay in for a few minutes and not pop out to scare Bucky. She carefully exited the cubicle, waiting for Bucky to stop looking at his phone and look at her.

She did a slow turn, glancing over at the mirror to check her reflection. Actually, it was very pretty. The dress was navy blue, almost black in appearance but had a light shimmer of color when the light hit it.

"Now this is more like it," Bucky declared, finally taking notice.

Natasha had to admit, she looked really elegant.

"You could wear your hair to the side," Bucky went on. "Keep your back bare. It'll drive the guys wild."

"That's great in theory," Nat turned to him, hands on her hips, "but what do I do with my boobs?"

Bucky made a confused face at her. "What do you usually do with your boobs?"

"Wear a bra!" She gestured at the dress. "Can't do that with a backless dress!"

"Alright, calm down," he replied. "Don't have an aneurism over it. Can't you wear those cup only things?"

"I hate those," Natasha grumbled. "And I'll be self conscious about moving in case it pings off. My boobs are too big for shit like that."

"Well, if that's the case," Bucky said, back to texting on his phone, "you'll have to wear a dress that holds them up, won't you? Show some cleavage." He stopped texting and held up his finger like he'd had an idea. "Shoulders!" he said, like this explained everything.

"Shoulders?" Natasha questioned.

"Yes, bare shoulders," Bucky said, waving his hand at her. "C'mon, take this shit off and let's try another store. I have a vision!"

Natasha smiled. "As long as your vision involves a bra."


	2. Two

The next boutique, Bucky's choice, was more of a success.

He showed Natasha some tight wiggle dresses, with wide, off the shoulder straps and necklines that showed a lot of upper boob but still managed to look tasteful.

Natasha wanted to choose a lighter color, cream or peach, but Bucky shoved her choices back on the racks and picked out dark colors instead. Natasha had a choice of red, black, and dark green to try on.

"But if I get the cream then I can wear it to a wedding," Natasha tried to say, as Bucky ushered her into the changing room.

"Fuck weddings," he said, drawing the curtain closed on her. "Stop trying to shop for multiple events and just focus on the party."

She got changed and kept her bra on this time, tucking the straps down to give the illusion of a strapless bra. Still not her favorite to wear, but at least it was better than no bra.

She tried on the dark green dress, squeezing into it and adjusting her boobs. It looked pretty good, actually.

When she came out to get Bucky's approval, he seemed happy too.

"How should I wear my hair with it?" she asked, looking at herself in the mirror.

"Try to the side," Bucky said.

"That's what you always say," Natasha told him.

"Yeah," Bucky scoffed, "that's because I'm always _right_."

She twisted her hair around, trying it out so she could see with the dress. Of course, Bucky got involved and started twisting it for her.

"You want a bit of it up, like so," he said, yanking her hair.

"Ouch," she said, "be careful."

"Sorry. Like so," he said, holding some of her hair up while twisting a few tendrils down. "Use some bling to hold that shit up and have the rest down. Perfect evening do."

"I hate doing complicated styles," Natasha complained.

"Go to the hairdresser on the day," Bucky told her. "They'll do it for you."

"It's such a waste of money," Natasha said, as Bucky groaned dramatically and walked away, throwing his hands up.

"Nat, you should've been a guy," he said in despair. "Why don't you just go ahead and get yourself a buzz cut and a lumberjack shirt and call it a day?"

Natasha suppressed a laugh. "You keep saying that guys don't even care what I do with my hair."

"Straight men, yes," Bucky said. "That doesn't mean you should never do anything, Natasha! Jesus."

She shrugged. Hair wasn't her main concern right now, the dress was. "I like this," she said, turning around to check out her butt in the mirror. "I think it'll work. Oh, here." She went and got her phone, wiggle-walking in the tight dress, and gave it to Bucky. "Take some pictures of me."

"Pictures for you?" Bucky asked, fiddling with Nat's phone.

"For Clint," Natasha told him, trying to find a pose she liked and posing for the camera.

"Oh, Mr. Technically Still Married?" Bucky teased.

"Just take the picture," she told him.

"It's your funeral," Bucky replied, then came in to pose her himself like she was a doll. "Stand next to the mirror, like this. Yes, now look at yourself, don't look at the camera."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I'm taking candids," he informed her, snapping away. "It'll look better."

"Do you think it'll make him jealous?" she asked, posing in the mirror.

"What'll make him jealous?"

"That I'm dressing up for this work party," she said.

"Natasha," Bucky said flatly, and handed her phone back to her, "I can guarantee you his mind won't go any further than the fact you sent him photos for his wank bank."

Natasha frowned at that. "I'm not naked," she pointed out.

"Doesn't matter." Bucky gestured at her with his hand. "Boobs on display. Woman, generally. In his mind that's all he's thinking about, a hot woman sent him a sexy selfie and he'll be thinking, oh, great, I'll jerk off to that later! After he goes to pick up his kids and see his wife, or whatever he's doing that isn't with you."

"Oh," Natasha said, absorbing that.

Well, shit.

It was true in a way, she was getting fed up with not being Clint's first choice, especially at weekends. Like, here she was, spending her Saturday with her gay best friend and she'd probably wait the rest of the weekend at home for Clint to call.

"So, what do I do?" she sighed.

"What was your last conversation with him?" Bucky asked. Natasha passed back her phone so he could look. Bucky scrolled through the message thread, his face not giving away what he thought.

He was like Natasha's man interpreter, in a way.

"Okay, this is cute and all," he said, handing her back the phone, "but you should ignore him for at least two weeks and see what he does."

" _Two weeks?_ " Natasha was floored. "But what if he thinks I'm not interested?"

Bucky shrugged. "Nat, either he wants to be with you or he doesn't. Nobody likes being ignored, so he'll notice you more if you're unavailable."

"But," she started, picturing the worst: Clint would just stop calling her. Bucky held up a hand.

"Trust me. If you want to find out if he's really interested, ignore him for two weeks. Chances are he'll call you before that anyway."

"So, what, I just sit in all weekend?" she said.

"If you want." Bucky shrugged. "Just pretend you're unavailable if he calls. Or, better yet, go out and post pictures of yourself enjoying a night out. Will he see the pictures?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I added him on Facebook. Where am I gonna go?"

"Come out with me," Bucky offered.

"I'm not going to a club with you," she said. "You'll just leave me on my own while you run off with some guy."

"It's the testosterone." Bucky laughed. "Can't fight it, Nat. Why don't I hook you up with Carol and Jess? They'll look after you, lesbians are great for that."

"I don't want to hang out with a couple!" Natasha said, stomping her foot. She didn't mean to, she was just frustrated.

Bucky laughed and pointed at her chest. "Your boobs just wobbled like Jell-O."

She laughed too and stamped her foot again. Bucky bent over laughing from it.

Somebody cleared their throat pointedly, interrupting their fun. Natasha looked to see the assistant giving them the stink eye.

"C'mon, Bucky," Natasha said, "we'd better wrap this up." She went to get changed, thinking she'd get the dress.

When she came back out, dresses over her arm, Bucky pounced on her excitedly.

"How about this," he said, looping his arm in hers. "I'll meet you in a bar tonight before I go to the club. We can have a Tinder date."

"A what?" Natasha didn't know what that meant. "But we already know each other?"

"You and me will have a drink in the bar," Bucky explained, "while we both go through Tinder looking for nearby matches. It's way easier to match in the city instead of doing it at home."

"Uh, I don't know," she hedged. She didn't really want to meet anyone else right now.

"Also," Bucky grinned deviously, "I'll take photos of you in the bar, and you can post those on your Facebook, then go home to bed and everyone else will think you're still partying the night away."

Natasha made a considering face. She'd prefer a bar over a club, for sure. And it beat staying home alone.

"Alright," she agreed.

Natasha had her one dress already, but they did a bit more shopping and she ended up finding another dress she liked.

Bucky wasn't so keen on it, but Natasha liked having backups. She could always return it if she wanted. So now she had two dresses, Bucky tried on some shirts because he didn't plan on going home later, he'd go home with Natasha and they'd get ready for their Tinder date together.

"Don't you need fresh underwear?" she asked him, as they picked out shirts for Bucky to try on.

"I'll wear some of yours," he joked, laughing when Natasha swatted him. "Kidding, God. I'm not even wearing underwear, Natasha."

"Gross," she said, and laid a shirt against him to see what it looked like. "How about this?"

Bucky looked down at the shirt with a disgusted face. "Ew?" he said, making shooing motions with his hands. "Not likely."

"Well, Chrissake's, make up your mind," she told him.

What felt like an eternity later, Bucky decided on a shirt and bought it. They were now done with shopping, and Bucky suggested they get frozen yoghurt from the tiny shop on the corner that had the big gay rainbows all over it.

Natasha needed the snack, so they headed along that way arm in arm, swinging their shopping bags.

"What flavor are you getting?" she asked, as they stopped to look in the window. The menu was displayed there, showing all the flavours and toppings.

"I'm feeling fruity," Bucky said. "How about you?"

"Hm, well..." Natasha was busy reading the menu, so when she heard Bucky swear under his breath she wasn't sure what it was about. "What?" she asked, looking up and seeing the expression on his face.

He was looking to the right, so Natasha looked too.

"Oh," she said, seeing Peggy Carter marching toward them.

"Shit," Bucky murmured. "Should I run?"

"Don't be silly," Natasha said, standing her ground as Bucky moved behind her.

"I see you found your friend," Peggy said hotly, approaching them at full speed.

Natasha calmly assessed the situation, noting they were on the street with plenty of people about. Likely this would be a yelling match, nothing more. Still, she didn't like the aggressive way Peggy was approaching them, so she took a step forward to meet Peggy before she could get to Bucky.

"Look," Natasha said firmly, "I understand you have some business with Bucky, but wouldn't it be better to discuss whatever needs discussing in private instead of out here?"

"Spare him from being humiliated in public, you mean?" Peggy retorted, her dark eyes spitting fire as she stared back at Natasha.

Natasha schooled her features. "I was thinking more for you, actually," she said calmly. "He doesn't want to talk to you, so how is this going to reach a satisfactory conclusion?"

"He just needs to know," Peggy said, raising her finger to point at Bucky as Natasha still blocked the way, "to stay away from my husband."

"Bitch, your man is already on Grindr!" Bucky replied, as Natasha winced.

Not helpful, Bucky, she thought.

"He's not!" Peggy spat back. "I checked his phone!"

"What about his _other_ phone?" Bucky replied.

Natasha waved a hand behind her back to shush Bucky while keeping her eyes on Peggy. The woman looked a mix of shock and rage, and Natasha didn't like where this was going. A few other pedestrians had stopped to gawk at the scene too.

"You're lying," Peggy directed at Bucky. "I wouldn't expect anything less from someone like you."

"Hey," Natasha cut in, because that had sounded vaguely homophobic to her ears. "Look, there's no need to take your anger out on him, okay? Sounds like the fault lies with your husband for not being honest with you, so maybe you should go talk to him first."

"As if I'd listen to _you_ ," Peggy said snidely, giving Natasha a pointed look up and down. "You're the slut who stole Laura's husband. I know who you are. You're no better than him," Peggy went on, as Natasha saw red. "Nothing but a pair of homewreck––"

Natasha headbutted her. One swift butt had Peggy staggering back, clutching her nose as blood trickled out.

"Holy shit," Bucky whispered at Natasha's shoulder, as Natasha calmly watched Peggy stagger about. "Nat, what did you do?"

The adrenaline was pumping which made it hard to hear, but Natasha already felt guilty for lashing out. Peggy was still on her feet, now checking her likely broken nose with her fingers.

"C'mon, Bucky," Natasha said quietly as she ushered Bucky away. "Let's go."

"But," Bucky tried as Natasha pushed him to go.

They made it a dozen steps before Natasha heard the _click-click_ of high heeled steps approaching fast. She whirled round, eyes going wide as she saw Peggy bearing down on her. Peggy yelled in fury as she swung her fist, landing a blow on Natasha's face.

It was a solid punch. Natasha dropped her shopping bags as she staggered from the force, but she'd been raised by a boxer and she knew how to take a hit so she stayed on her feet.

Also, Natasha had done MMA for ten years and she was used to fighting. She adjusted her stance, lowering her head as she charged forward and took Peggy out with a tackle. Natasha roared as she knocked Peggy to the ground, landing a quick one-two punch on her face as she sat on top of her.

Apparently, Peggy knew how to fight too, as she rolled over to knock Natasha off. Natasha landed roughly on the concrete, then had to contend with Peggy jumping on her back and getting an arm around her throat to try choke her out.

Natasha used her training: kicking her leg up as she twisted around, she used Peggy's momentum against her to flip her over and jump on her back. Natasha wrapped her legs around Peggy's lower body to pin her, then applied her arm around Peggy's throat, executing a Rear Naked Hold.

Peggy struggled, but Natasha held strong. She'd been a national champion at age twenty after all, and this move was her signature.

Bucky rushed over, holding all their shopping bags. "Nat, don't kill her," he said, a mortified expression on his face.

Natasha didn't reply, she was focusing on her task. It was surprising how quickly she'd gone into fight mode, ready to taste blood. Peggy had picked the wrong day to cross her.

Peggy was still struggling and gasping for air, but her strength was failing now.

"Jesus, Nat," Bucky said. "What if someone calls the cops? I'm too pretty to go to jail."

Other people were crowding around too, one even wolf-whistled. Peggy went limp, so Natasha eased her hold and unwound herself from Peggy. She crouched over Peggy to check her pulse.

"She's fine," Natasha announced. She got to her feet and dusted herself down. "She'll come round in a minute."

Then she walked off, Bucky hurrying along behind her. "What the hell," Bucky hissed, "are you just leaving her there?"

"Yes," Natasha said, still quietly furious. "Fuck her. She's probably given me a black eye."

"I don't know if they let you get away with this shit in Moscow, Natasha," Bucky babbled, "but you'll have to change your hair, your name, go undercover..."

Natasha snorted. "Would you relax? That was nothing." She paused to check her face in a store window. "Yeah, that's gonna bruise. Guess I'm not going out tonight."

"Tinder at home?" Bucky suggested. "We can get fro-yo and go to yours."

"Done," Natasha said. "I need ice for my eye, too."


	3. Three

They took a cab and went back to Natasha's apartment.

Bucky made the executive decision to order in gelato, lots of it. Forget frozen yoghurt, they needed the good shit today after what they'd just been through.

Natasha sat cross legged on the couch holding a makeshift ice pack to her eye, while Bucky collected their food order from the door and spooned the desserts into bowls to eat.

"Here we go," he said, taking the first bowl to Natasha. "The finest gelato in town."

"Thanks," she said quietly, setting the bowl in her lap.

She seemed a bit down.

"I know!" Bucky said, going to the shelf and pulling out a trusty DVD box set. "What do you say to some Sex and the City?" He wiggled the DVD at her. "Huh? Your favorite?"

"Sure," she replied, still subdued. "Put it on."

Not cheerful yet, but hopefully a bit of SATC would fix that, Bucky thought. He quickly set up the first DVD into the machine, setting it to play. As the familiar theme tune started, he headed into the kitchenette to grab his own gelato.

He flopped onto the couch next to Nat with a big sigh. "Ah, fantastic," he said, digging his spoon into the gelato. "What more could we ask for, hm? I mean, aside from some dick?"

Nat exhaled tiredly, and when Bucky glanced at her she seemed kind of pissed.

"Hey, are you mad at me?" he asked.

"What? No," she said.

"So, what's up?" Bucky asked, watching her reaction as he spooned ice cream into his mouth.

Natasha sighed again. "Nothing."

"You worried about the cops?"

She dropped her ice pack to give him A Look. "Bucky, the cops have bigger things to worry about than two women brawling. Besides, I was walking away, she's the one who came after me."

"Yeah." Bucky widened his eyes as he recalled the scene. "That sure was something." He poked his gelato with the spoon. Natasha wasn't even touching hers, he noticed. "Okay, so if you're not worried about the cops then what's eating you?"

"I told you it's nothing," Nat said quietly, setting the ice pack back on her eye.

"Mm," Bucky said, not believing her. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he shifted to get it out. He checked the screen, seeing a message from Steve and the first line of it, asking him if he was okay.

Bucky wasn't sure if Steve knew the full story about today or not, but he could talk to Steve later. All this drama was his dumb fault to start with anyway. Bucky put his phone back in his pocket.

"Mm, I love this episode," he said, gesturing to the TV. "It's the one where Samantha meets Smith at the raw food place."

Natasha watched, but she seemed disinterested.

There was a certain amount of tension in the air, Bucky noticed. It probably wouldn't go away unless they talked about it. Bucky cleared his throat, unsure how to start.

"So..." he began, "I mean... now you know why Steve doesn't want to stay married to her, right?" He laughed weakly. "He told me she gets real jealous."

"No shit," Nat replied. "Is Steve going to deal with her so she stops coming after you?"

Bucky made a face. "I hope so. I'll talk to him later. I mean, it's not cool what she did today. Not cool at all."

Natasha didn't say anything.

Bucky poked his gelato a bit more. "Uh, you know what she said was bullshit, right? That stuff about... about you and me? I mean, you specifically."

"Which part?" Nat sighed. "The part about me being a slut, or the part about me being a home wrecker?"

"Neither of those things is true, Nat," Bucky told her.

"It is true," she countered. "The part about being a home wrecker, anyway."

"It's not, Nat. You said yourself, Clint was already separated."

Nat shifted, setting her bowl aside. "Well, maybe not totally separated when we started... you know."

Bucky's eyebrows hiked up again. "Ohhh, I see. Okay, well, never mind that, Natasha. He was probably already on his way to divorce before you came along. What he chooses to do is his own responsibility, not yours."

"But if it wasn't for me, maybe he'd still be happily married," Nat said.

"Natasha," Bucky said firmly, "you need to stop beating yourself up over other people's decisions, and eat your gelato. Hurry up, it's melting."

"Alright," she sighed.

They ate their gelato. Bucky refreshed the ice pack and gave the new one to Nat for her eye. They watched more Sex and the City.

Then they got to an episode where Carrie started having the affair with her old flame, Mr. Big, who was at that point married to another woman. Bucky should've realised that was a bad episode to watch, but it was too late because Nat started sniffling.

"Aw, Nat, don't be upset, babe," he said, handing over the box of tissues.

"I'm as bad as Carrie," she sobbed, holding a tissue to her nose with one hand and the ice pack over her eye with the other.

"No, you're not," Bucky told her. "That's nothing like you, okay? Your guy is separating, it's not the same thing."

Nat sobbed harder.

"Oh, Jesus," Bucky murmured, and got out his phone. He swiped aside the two messages from Steve, and went straight to his take out app.

Time for pizza.

Natasha had a good cry, and by the time the pizza arrived she'd gotten it out her system.

Bucky fed her pizza and put on Netflix. They watched an action movie; less risky than anything romantic.

"How about a post pizza cocktail?" Bucky suggested. "You got some mixers? I know you got vodka."

"Kitchen," Nat instructed. She'd taken off the ice pack now, and her right eye was dark and puffy.

Bucky cleared away the pizza leftovers, and got to work mixing some cocktails. He'd worked as a bartender through college and knew how to mix. Natasha's stash of vodka was extensive, and he made up four drinks of different flavours to start.

"Bottoms up, bitch," he announced, carrying the drinks in on a tray. "Let's get drunk."

They toasted their first drink, and settled in to watch the stupid movie.

"I kinda like Bruce Willis," Nat said.

"Yeah, you like your bald guys," Bucky said. "There's plenty of bald guys on Tinder, you know."

Nat giggled. "It's not about the hair, it's about a man with a can-do attitude."

"I'd like a man who can do me," Bucky joked.

They'd finished off their first round of drinks, and Bucky got up to make more in the kitchen when Nat's door buzzer went.

He came out to check with her. "You expecting anyone?"

She shook her head. "Who do you think it is?"

"Jesus, hopefully just the pizza guy again," Bucky said, going to the door. "Maybe I didn't tip him enough."

Natasha got up from the couch, lurking nearby as Bucky checked the spy hole.

"Oh," he said, spotting a handsome blond outside. "It's some guy? Natasha, is this your booty call?"

"What?" Nat pushed past him and had a look herself. Then she gasped. "Oh, God, it's Clint."

"Clint?" Bucky was surprised. "Should we... see what he wants?"

"Let him in," Nat said, dashing off to her room.

"Uh..." Bucky shrugged. "Okay." He opened the door, smiling when he noticed the surprise on the other man's face. "Hello," he greeted.

"Uh, hey," Clint said. "Uh, is Natasha there?"

"Yeah, come on in." Bucky stood aside, gesturing grandly.

"Thanks, man." Clint came inside the apartment, and Bucky shut the door.

"I'm Clint," he introduced himself, offering his hand.

"Bucky," Bucky replied, shaking his hand.

Clint's eyebrows hiked up. "Oh, _you're_ Bucky?"

Bucky grinned. "Guilty as charged."

Clint grinned too, clearly amused. "We haven't met, but I'm friends with Steve."

"Oh," Bucky said, now feeling awkward. "Well, um... yeah."

"I hear you and Nat ran into Peggy today?" Clint asked.

"Um, well, she kinda ran into us," Bucky corrected.

"Sounds like her." Clint clapped him on the shoulder before walking into the apartment. "You know, she threw a dinner plate at me once? Clipped me on the head, I got a scar right here."

"No shit." Bucky came in close to see where Clint was showing him. He couldn't see anything, but he was ready to believe the story. "Why'd she throw a dinner plate at you, and do I need to get a restraining order?"

Clint shrugged. "Maybe? She can be like that. We were over there having dinner with her and Steve, and she got mad at me over something. I can't remember what, but it was something stupid. Steve's been unhappy for years, man. I think he's gonna divorce her."

"Oh," Bucky said, masking his surprise. "Well, um... I mean, that's his choice, it's not really anything to do with me."

Clint nodded. "Sure. No worries." He looked around, noting the empty lounge. "So, where's Nat?"

"She ran into her bedroom," Bucky said, "so she's probably putting on concealer to cover the black eye. Maybe tell her it doesn't look so bad when you see her? You know what women are like."

"Shit." Clint ran a hand over his face. "Yeah. Got it. Will do, man." He flopped down onto the couch, exhaling loudly.

Bucky sat next to him. "How'd you hear about the incident anyway?"

"Hm? Oh, Peggy went to see Laura. That's my soon to be ex-wife."

"Oh? How soon?" Bucky asked. "Enquiring minds would like to know."

"Uh, well..." Clint blew out a breath, scratched his head. "We both got our lawyers, so now it's just setting up the first meeting to go through custody and the house, and all that shit. Seeing as we can't come to an agreement ourselves, which sucks because I was hoping we wouldn't need lawyers."

"Shit, that's rough," Bucky said. "I'm sorry."

Clint shrugged. "What can you do? These things, they take time."

"And money," Bucky said. His parents were divorced, he knew how ugly it could get.

"Yeah," Clint agreed. "Lots of money, man. It's criminal what lawyers charge." He gazed at the TV a moment. "Oh, great! Bruce Willis."

Bucky smiled to himself. Clint seemed nice, actually. Kind of chill and easy going. He could see why Natasha liked him.

They had a few moments together watching Bruce Willis before Nat came out. Bucky had been right, she'd slapped on a lot of concealer over her shiner. Clint got up when he saw her and went straight over to give her a hug.

"Was worried about you," he said, holding her in his arms. Natasha clung onto him, and they stood there hugging in silence.

This seemed like a party meant for two, Bucky decided, so he got up and found his shopping bag. "Nat, if you're good here," he said, unbuttoning his shirt, "I'll head out."

Nat and Clint broke their embrace to look at him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Changing," Bucky said. "Duh?" He shrugged out of his shirt and put on the new one, buttoning it up.

"Let me cut the tag off," Nat said, going to find scissors.

Bucky grinned as she fussed over him, removing the tag from his shirt. "Can I leave my other shirt here? You'll have to hand wash it, of course. Don't go putting it in the machine."

Natasha gave him an unimpressed look, making Bucky laugh. He gave her a hug.

"Take care of yourself," he murmured in her ear. "If you need me, just call."

"I will," she said. "You take care, too."

Bucky grabbed his jacket, putting it on over his new shirt. He smiled at the happy couple before exiting the apartment, then got his phone out as he strutted to the elevators.

He sent a reply to Steve's text, telling him he was fine and he was going to his second favorite bar right now.

If Steve had paid any attention during their dates, he'd know which bar Bucky meant.

Bucky got himself downtown and back in The Village.

It was certainly a case of lifting his collar up and ducking his head as he hurried through the streets, concerned that an angry Peggy may be lying in wait around any dark corner. But despite his fears he made it safely into his (second) favorite gay bar without any trouble, and he turned his collar back down.

Bucky took a seat at the end of the bar, meaning he could sit with his back to the wall. Safety first. He ordered himself a whiskey sour, got out his phone and checked Grindr.

Steve's profile was still on there, and his location showed as only a couple of miles away. Bucky wondered what he was doing, and if he was going to show up later or not.

He tried to ignore Steve for now, and checked his Grindr messages instead. Plenty of available men in the vicinity. And yet... Bucky wasn't really feeling it. He knew it was stupid of him to pine for a married man, but there he was. Pining.

He closed Grindr and went to Instagram instead, scrolling through his friends' feeds. At least on Instagram there were some fun hobby pics instead of only love-dovey couples pics. One of his straight friends had gotten into photography lately, and Bucky scrolled through their feed looking at the arty photos.

He was on his second whiskey sour when he noticed Steve walk into the bar. Bucky was mildly surprised he'd arrived so soon. Then again, there was always the chance Steve had just come in because it was a popular gay bar in The Village.

How awkward would that be? Watching Steve hook up with someone else in the same bar?

Bucky watched Steve look around the bar, and when he spotted Bucky he made a beeline for him.

Oh, Bucky thought, relieved and thrilled all at once.

He put his phone away and smiled as Steve approached. "Hey," he said.

"Hey," Steve replied, sounding a little breathless. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Bucky said, bemused as Steve was obviously looking him over for any visible injuries. "I'm fine, Steve. Really."

"Okay, good." Steve looked concerned, brows bunched together and lips pressed into a flat line.

Bucky signalled to the bartender for two drinks. "You fine with whiskey?" he asked.

Steve nodded, and sat on the barstool next to Bucky. "Is your friend alright?"

"Yeah, Clint's with her now," Bucky replied. "And she's fine, just a black eye."

Steve winced, then rubbed a hand down his face. He seemed pretty upset.

The bartender brought over two whiskey sours, and Bucky asked him to put it on his tab. He had a feeling they'd be needing more drinks soon.

"Drink up," he told Steve, pushing a drink under his nose. "Everything's better with whiskey."

Steve did, taking a small sip. His knee was bouncing away, Bucky noticed.

"I want to apologise to your friend myself," Steve said. "I know you said she's fine, but... I couldn't believe it when Laura told me what happened."

"Have you seen, you know...?" Bucky waved his hand. "Your wife?"

Steve shook his head. "No. Laura called me, said Peggy was with her and told me all about it. I've, um... I spent the day moving into a room. It's a rental."

Bucky very nearly choked on his next sip of whiskey. "Oh?" he coughed lightly. "You moved out?"

"Thursday night." Steve took a long drink, almost draining the glass. "I mean, it was a long time coming. I packed the essentials, and left. I stayed on my buddy's couch, and he helped me find a spare room through a friend. I'll be staying there until I figure out what to do."

"Right," Bucky said, trying to come off as calm all the while he was squeeing on the inside. "Was that why Peggy was ready to skin me alive today?"

"Maybe?" Steve frowned into his empty glass. "I didn't want to talk to her yet, she can get a bit... aggressive. I just wanted some time to myself first. Then I heard what happened with you and your friend, and I feel like it's all my fault."

Bucky made a considering face. "Well, despite what's gone down between you and your wife, Steve, ultimately you aren't responsible for her behaviour. Like, she was clearly stalking me today. That was her choice."

"I know." Steve looked at him, concern in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I'm hoping that Laura will talk some sense into her. She's staying there tonight."

"Let's hope." Bucky smiled at him, to show he was fine. "Maybe I'll invest in a tazer, hm?"

This got a small smile from Steve.

Bucky finished his drink, and signalled for another two from the bar tender. "Uh, by the way," he said, "it was actually Natasha who threw the first punch. Although..." He chuckled quietly, shaking his head. "It wasn't a punch, it was a headbutt. Pretty solid one, too. It wasn't a good choice to try yell at me with Nat around."

"Clearly," Steve said.

"And we tried to walk away, but Peggy came at Nat with a punch," Bucky explained. "Then Nat took her down, and it was all over pretty fast. I was just, like, watching with my jaw on the floor the whole time." He drummed his fingers on the bar. "Do you think Peggy will call the cops over it?" he asked.

Steve shook his head. "No, I don't think so. She's never wanted police involved before when I warned her I'd call them."

"Damn, Steve." Bucky reached out, put his hand over Steve's knee to stop it bouncing. "You sound like a battered husband, no joke."

"She's hit me a few times," Steve admitted quietly. "Shot a gun at me once, too. In the garage. I had to duck behind the freezer as she emptied a whole round of bullets. The freezer was toast, had to get it replaced."

Bucky's mouth opened in shock. "Steve, what the fuck? That's domestic abuse. You know that, right?"

Steve shrugged, and took a long sip of whiskey. "I wanted to leave years ago, I just... wasn't sure what she'd do if I did, you know?"

"I think you should talk to a real good lawyer," Bucky said, and got his phone out. "I'm going to send you the number of a family lawyer I know. He's great, he won't bullshit you either." He copied Matt's office number and sent it to Steve via text. "Call him up Monday, say you know me and want his advice."

"Thanks, Buck." Steve smiled at him. "I will. I think it's time to break away and start the next chapter of my life now. I feel ready."

"That's great." Bucky smiled back at him, leaning a little closer. "I hope this chapter involves lots of homosexual activity? Preferably with me?"

This earned him a proper laugh from Steve, his eyes crinkling up. Steve had a great laugh and Bucky loved hearing it.

"Well," Steve said, "I hope so, too." He reached out to cover Bucky's hand with his own, gazing into Bucky's eyes. "I like you, Buck. I'd really like to spend more time with you."

Bucky grinned, interlacing his fingers with Steve. "I'd like that. What d'you say we get out of here and go back to my place for lots of hot sex or snuggling on the couch? Your choice."

"Both." Steve squeezed his hand affectionately. "Both sounds good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Call your girlfriend  
>  It's time you had the talk  
> Give your reasons  
> Say it's not her fault  
> But you just met somebody new  
> And now it's gonna be me and you_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it leave me a comment :D


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